Last week was a hard time for me. The things I did, the things I was going to have, every thing just went upside down 
. I was pissed about my self. So much of pressure, so much of people to handle and so much of failures .I felt sad. I felt shame about me. Wish I had someone to share those moments . I went mad !
I did things I never have done before. I wanted to leave every thing. Go to the wild and live alone. But it’s not the way to solve things. I just can’t runway 
! So I said to my self ‘ok man lets face this shit’. I questioned my self, ‘who are you Dushi?’ errrrrr…. Ya it’s a hard question for me because I never have thought of that. I figured them out. mmm…. Let’s see…. Well do I have money? Nope. Are you excellent in your studies? Nope. Average? Yes I think. Am I really an open guy?? Mm.. No I guess. I’m doing that with just 2-3 people. Do you love someone? Yes I do. Did you told it to her? Yes. So did you able to achieve her? Nope . But why? Because I got nothing for my self I think. Oh enough! ‘You are a big looooser dude!’ . What the hell was I doing these years huh?
And does people really cares about me? I don’t feel they really care about me like I do on them . May be that’s because I play jokes always and smile with them 
. So they may think I’m an irresponsible fool. No people that’s not the point! That’s because I wana make you happy. That’s because I like to have that smile on those faces around me.
So finally I discovered that I’m some kind of a freak came from somewhere and now in nowhere. Ok I’m the one who made these things happen. And now I I’m gona fix these things. Hahaaa 
. Easy to say huh? Yes its easy to say and hard to do. But at least gona give a try. I’m gona make up my life as I want. All I have to do is to correct the points which I made mistakes. Earn something for my self first. Not only money. Build up my potential. Be a person who every one cares. Be that open guy which I want to be. Then hunt down my love again . Try to Makeup your own life.
Thank you for reading my crap!
